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Too Naked?

Updated: Jan 29, 2020

I've been getting that look recently, you know, the judgmental glare of a person biting their lip desperate to pour out their personal opinion of your parenting style. I try and stare it down, without blinking, before any words erupt from the mouth of my new found parent enemy. My kids are naked, a lot. I live in australia, it's hot. My kids have a tendency of throwing off their clothes as they walk though the house, layers peeled off one by one and left where they fell, like bodies on a battle field. I often have playdates with other tired washed out parents whom I stupidly presume have naked kids too. Wrong. They say off the cuff comments like ' Gosh, she is always in the buff that one' or 'isn't she cold?' let me answer these here now so you will never have to ask me these condescending questions again. Yes, she is in the buff a lot , as much as she likes in fact and if I thought she was cold I would have fucking well got a jumper and shoved it on her. (here I also imagine my fist slamming into the glaring judgers eye socket)

I make a point of never, ever saying what I think of someone else parenting, yes, I might slag them off to my husband later on that evening over beans on toast, but to come in and actually comment on a particular situation is rude. One friend came over to the house yesterday and asked 'why is your washing still on the line' ? I nearly wrapped the line around her neck and pegged her mouth shut. The real reason was that I hadn't bothered to take it down yet because I'm too busy watching reality television in the 5 minutes I get off per day not taking care of my three ungrateful brats but I wasn't going to tell the nosey femme bot friend that. instead I just shouted 'hey.. look theres a penis' and changed the subject.

Pic - what I really want to say.

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